Based on what exactly? Every heard of the Spring Break (or the Las Vegas) phenomenon where women behave the way they'd truly like to because they have to worry a whole lot less about social backlash and condemnation. We live in a culture where women are expected to be sexy but not be sexual - except in service of a man's desire. Slutshaming is still a very real phenomenon.
Women get bored with monogamy way before men do.
Women cheat just as much as men do - not for new emotional relationships, but for sex.
In four national surveys conducted between 1991 and 1996, women and men under the age of forty-five were basically neck and neck in the cheating game, while a 1992 survey found that American women aged eighteen to twenty-nine reported even more affairs than their male peers, and a more recent GSS found the same thing. Meanwhile, a 2017 study shows that among women aged twenty-five to twenty-nine, group sex and threesome experience equaled that of men the same age, and women were nearly twice as likely to have gone to a dungeon, BDSM, swingers’, or sex party, challenging the easy assumption that men are the naturally more sexually adventurous sex.
Martin, Wednesday. Untrue (pp. 41-42). Little, Brown and Company. Kindle Edition.
You honestly have little understanding of women and zero understanding of sociological dynamics. You have no conception at all of how dangerous dating and approaching men is for women, but feel fine making assumptions that do not remotely take that into consideration. The average woman gets pestered by rando strangers on a nearly daily basis. And no, most women do not view men as "other" unless they are behaving like that - which as you admit, far too many of them do. When was the last time you called your buddy to let him know you'd gotten home safely from a date? When was the last time you took your drink with you to the bathroom so your date or some other dude didn't spike it and try to rape you? Never, right?
Women do not owe any men their time or attention or kindness for being bothered when they've given no indication that they are in the slightest bit interested. They do not owe men putting down defenses that help to keep them safe. This sort of entitlement is what Dr. Nerdlove is talking about. You are correct that women are most likely to be drawn to men who like themselves and have something interesting going on although this "top tier" stuff is hogwash. Go to any place where a lot of people congregate and you will notice that most people in partnerships are not "top tier" people. The man is not particularly handsome, or buff, or rich.
Healthy women are looking for a man to date, not a child, so yes, he needs to have basic good grooming, some sense of his own style that works for him, confidence in himself and what he has to offer the relationship and something going on in his life other than just looking for a place to wet his dick. And most importantly he needs to treat the woman like a person - not a mommy stand in who will meet all his needs and love him unconditionally, not a living flesh-light, not an object but a real human being. Unfortunately, from porn to hook-up culture, to advertising men are constantly messaged that women do indeed exist for them and their pleasure.
That doesn't mean that women are perfect or that dating isn't hard but it's hard for everyone - and women do not receive that same sort of societal messaging about men. There are entitled women out there to be sure, but it's not the same sort of pervasive cultural dynamic. Just a few decades ago women's magazines were filled with stories about how to best please and serve your man. In your parent's generation, this was mainstream stuff. Imagining that it has all evaporated just because we've moved on a little bit in equality is delusional and it drives further gender friction.
Telling women to be nicer to the next dude who shows interest is just the sort of unbelievable antiquated entitled patriarchal bullshit that needs to go the way of the dinosaur. Nobody, and I mean nobody is telling guys to be nicer to women they aren't attracted to. They are not being exhorted to "just give her a chance." The fact that you don't see this double standard and are perpetuating it is a huge part of the problem.
We do not owe you shit beyond basic courtesy and civility. We are not here for you - we are human beings with lives, and dreams, and careers. Be a decent person, have an interesting life that you are excited about, care about meeting women for more than the chance to get your dick wet, get off the internet and most guys will be just fine. I see that happening all of the time.
The combination of entitlement, and victimhood you are selling is just the sort of thing that is really off-putting to most women. It's why so many women are giving up on dating entirely. You know who is not a "top tier" man? One who whines that women aren't giving him his due; one who exhorts women to be nicer (which is code for lower your standards and boundaries); one who only talks about the obstacles that men face but never talks about the ones that women face. That's a guy who puts women on a pedestal and then complains when they don't live up to his standards. Dudes, don't be a guy like that - it's gross. Treat her like a person, because believe you me, that happens so rarely, that most women would jump at that alone.
