Feminine norms include being kind, nurturing, selfless, putting yourself last to take care of everyone else, supporting your man at your own expense, being agreeable, community-oriented (rather than self-oriented), submissive, gentle, etc. Think about how much men tell women (even ones they don't know) to smile - encouraging them to present themselves as agreeable, pleasing, and non-threatening. Women don't always adhere to these, or adhere to them fully, but they are still the norms for women - which is why women in leadership have to walk such a fine line between acting like a leader by masculine standards but at the same time still appearing feminine enough to be acceptable and likable. Nobody cares if a male leader is likable.

Expecting a man to be a provider or using sexuality as a bargaining tool are outcroppings of patriarchy - they are not feminine norms. And, in addition, they hardly apply to all women. Most women these days want a man who is financially stable, but don't expect him to be a "provider" - because most women, including most mothers, work outside the home and make their own money. Something like 20% of women earn more than their man and about 30% earn the same. Women who expect men to pay on dates may be looking for some sort of "free ride" or they may be using that as a way to judge whether or not the guy is invested in her, or for some other reason.

Some women use sexuality as a bargaining tool, but again, that's not exactly typical or something that little girls are messaged from a young age to do the way they are with feminine norms.