First of all, patriarchy is to blame for pretty much all of our culture's problems and mainstream masculinity has a lot of problematic aspects that need to be called out - because they are harming men as well as everyone else. The parts of masculine norms that require domination of other people and control of women in order to be "a real man" drive rape culture, and racism, etc., etc. but they also drive male on male violence. Pretending that isn't a real problem is putting your head in the sand like an ostrich. It is THE central aspect of what is wrong with our culture.
And, every single major publication out there has done a story in the past 2 years about male loneliness so don't pretend that "nobody cares." You seem to think that women owe you something, that they ought to lower their standards, date men they aren't attracted to, and otherwise behave in a way that feeds your entitlement in a way that no guy would ever demand of men. Lovely...
How about less abdicating responsibility for a dysfunctional, harmful to everyone culture, all the while demanding entitlements and more acting like a responsible human being? Mainstream masculinity IS the problem. All men benefit from patriarchy and discrimination against women, whether they want to or not. You don't get to somehow opt out because "I didn't do anything."
https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/01/ce-corner
APA’s new Guidelines for Psychological Practice With Boys and Men strive to recognize and address these problems in boys and men while remaining sensitive to the field’s androcentric past. Thirteen years in the making, they draw on more than 40 years of research showing that traditional masculinity is psychologically harmful and that socializing boys to suppress their emotions causes damage that echoes both inwardly and outwardly.
“Though men benefit from patriarchy, they are also impinged upon by patriarchy,” says Ronald F. Levant, EdD, a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Akron and co-editor of the APA volume “The Psychology of Men and Masculinities.” Levant was APA president in 2005 when the guideline-drafting process began and was instrumental in securing funding and support to get the process started.
Getting that message out to men—that they’re adaptable, emotional and capable of engaging fully outside of rigid norms—is what the new guidelines are designed to do. And if psychologists can focus on supporting men in breaking free of masculinity rules that don’t help them, the effects could spread beyond just mental health for men, McDermott says. “If we can change men,” he says, “we can change the world.”
