I don’t disagree that relationships change how people feel about other races or cultures or sexual orientations that they have had little true exposure to before. Men have ample exposure to women and still women initiate 70% of divorces, overwhelmingly citing what I’d label as patriarchal attitudes as the reason.

“Women leave because their man is not present. He’s working, golfing, gaming, watching TV, fishing… the list is long. These aren’t bad men. They’re good men. They’re good fathers. They each support their family. They’re nice, likable, but they take their wife for granted; they’re not present.”

He further says, “Your wife is not your property. She does not owe you her soul. You earn it. Day by day, moment to moment. You earn her first and foremost with your presence, your aliveness. She needs to feel it. She wants to talk to you about what matters to her and to feel you hearing her. Not nodding politely. Not placating. Definitely not playing devil’s advocate.”

You spoke earlier about not trying to hold people to a standard that they do not yet understand. The quote above is from a marriage and family therapist, and rather than taking his professional opinion based in experience as guidance, it was mostly received with animosity. The comment I made in the OP speaks to my frustration about that. Don’t know how to have good relationships and don’t want to know because that involves vulnerability.