I get that, but since the bulk of racism and sexism (and a lot of other discrimination) comes out of things like unconscious bias and structural inequality, how do we talk about those things and bring them into the open? We like to imagine that we are in control of our thoughts and actions but from what I hear, cognitive science says that only about 2% of what we think of us thought is conscious. The rest is early childhood training, and stereotypes, and such. So, how do we confront that without making people defensive, because it's true that in the end, it really doesn't matter to the person who has been harmed if it was intentional or not.