Lorelei Weldon
3 min readFeb 8, 2022

--

I'm shaking my head in amazement. Just because something isn't happening to you, doesn't mean it isn't taking place. Do you honestly think things like the #MeToo movement are made up, overreactions and propaganda? The "evidence" of what the world is really like is everywhere around you. There are good quality research studies, but also millions of people who have the same first person stories. Why doesn't that count? Are you not aware of these things? Societal dynamics have nothing whatsoever to do with your individual life experiences. This seems to me like a kind of defense mechanism so as not to have to truly have to face the world as it is.

I've already told you that the World Health Organization and the CDC both believe that violence against women, and particularly sexual violence, is at epidemic levels. What exactly would be their "angle" for claiming that falsely?

It is not an overstatement at all to say that we live in a rape culture. 1 in 5 women will be raped in their lifetime and yet there is still a huge amount of shaming, blaming, and disbelief that is heaped on the victims rather than the perpetrators. This is something that doesn't take place with any other crime. Every couple of months there's a story about how some guy either admitted to raping or was convicted of it, but only gets a slap on the wrist because a lot of judges still don't want to "ruin the life of a promising young man" even though he's ruined the life of a promising young woman. Have you honestly never heard/read these stories? And if so, what makes you disbelieve that they are true, particularly when they happen so often?

"A Harvard medical school study of forced sexual initiation determined that 1 in 16 women had their first sexual experience against their will. Some 50% of women surveyed said the perpetrator was larger or older. More than 46% of the women were held down. In 56% of the instances, men used verbal pressure. Men used physical threats more than 26% of the time and caused physical harm in more than 25% of the instances. Some 22% of the women were drugged.” CNN Health

Even Nordic countries that have pretty good gender equality have this same issue. Amnesty International wrote a report about it in 2019.

"Whilst the situation facing survivors of rape is not uniform across the four Nordic countries, there are disturbing parallels among them whose criminal justice systems ignore, deny and tacitly condone sexual violence against women."

That's what a rape culture is and what that term means.

And I have men trying to shut me up on Medium on a regular basis. Perhaps this doesn't happen to you because you believe many of the things that so many of them would like to believe - that there is no pervasive issue of violence against women (and weaker men), etc. Therefore, you pose no threat to them, whereas women who are speaking up and demanding a safer, more equitable society are.

You seem like a thoughtful person, but also an incredibly naive one. Every single woman I know, of any age, race, or political stripe, has experience with sexual violence, even if it's just groping, although I know several people who have been raped, or otherwise sexually intimidated. If nothing like that has ever happened to you, you are incredibly lucky.

--

--

Lorelei Weldon
Lorelei Weldon

Written by Lorelei Weldon

Student of human nature and advocate for a safer, saner, more love-infused world. If I read it, there’s a good chance I’ll leave a comment.

Responses (1)