I'm sorry that you've felt shut down and dismissed around things you've suffered. That's not right at all. At the same time, I can also understand marginalized people feeling like white men have a whole culture devoted to their problems and their needs, and they'd like to focus on their own wounds and issues for a while without having to include them.

I definitely believe we should care about everyone, even if they have more societal power, but this "whataboutism" that so many men engage in really doesn't help things. There's practically a whole cottage industry devoted to getting women to sit down and shut up. Even female journalists and other professionals experience this and that's not right either.