Then how do you account for the cultures where rape essentially does not take place then?
And what exactly do you base that "belief" on other than the fact that dealing with the reality would force you to step up and help solve the problem?
Sure, when you use the term "rape" most men think it's abhorrent, but when you talk about getting women to do what you want in bed, most men think that's exactly what they are supposed to do, whether the woman wants it or not. I think YOU don't know much about men, because every woman I know, including me, has been pressured to do sexual things I didn't want to do, and most women have been groped, sexually harassed, and sexually assaulted by guys who never once thought they were doing anything wrong - because that's what guys are "supposed to do" - to "get some."
Men tend to think that women they are hot for want what they want and they are socially programmed to believe they are supposed to "drive" sexual encounters. Pretending this isn't a part of mainstream masculinity is just sticking your ostrich head in the sand so you don't have to deal with it. Most of what we do isn't consciously thought out or rationally done - we are driven by our subconscious minds which are deeply influenced by our culture, what we see in the media (and in porn), and what our peers and parents say and do.
And the people who study this for a living know a whole lot more about it than you do - as do nearly all women - because they've been on the receiving end of it all their lives since they were little kids.
"Not every man looks at women and girls through this excessively predatory lens, but the cultural narrative and behavior of many men is still disturbing. “Young men still too often learn to prioritize their pleasure over women’s feelings, to interpret a partner’s behavior through the lens of their own wishes. Their claims of “miscommunication,” Bedera concluded in her research on college men, may actually be part of “an expectation that they control both partners’ narratives about desire and consent.” This is not because these men are inherently monsters, but because they have been socialized to think in this way, no matter how subconsciously."
I read something today about a man in Britain who had sex with a woman and while she was sleeping, he took pictures of her genitals and sent it to friends. He wasn't punished (even though she was traumatized) because the court determined that he was just trying to brag to his friends and had no "intent to harm her." This is the culture that we are dealing with. Men are messaged over and over again that women exist for their pleasure and for their sexual enjoyment - in ads, in movies, in music, etc.
This researcher talked to hundreds of boys from all different kinds of backgrounds. Hers's what she concluded about how American boys and young men view sexual conquest based on their own words and stories::
"Young American men also report more social pressure than other nationalities to be ever ready for sex and have as many partners as possible; feel a stronger stigma against homosexuality; and receive more messages that they should conform to rigid gender roles in the home and control their female partners, even to the point of violence."
In talking about sexual bragging and "locker room talk" she notes:
The truth is less important than the posturing itself: using symbolic aggression toward women to bond and validate their heterosexuality. Dismissing that as “locker room banter” denies the ways that language can desensitize and abrade boys’ ability to see girls as people deserving of respect and dignity. And, in fact, by the time they are in college, athletes are three times more likely than other students to be accused of sexual misconduct or intimate partner violence. That puts such bluster in a different light.
Orenstein, Peggy. Boys & Sex (pp. 28-29). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.
And again, how exactly is it that 1 in 3 women are raped, half have experienced other types of sexual assault and 85% were sexually harassed beginning in childhood if it's not a part of mainstream masculinity?
