What you neglected to mention when you quoted from Anne Stark is that she then went on to say this (which is completely antithetical to your premise):

I was with Drake for four years before our different sex drives pushed me to nearly break up with him. He isn’t as interested in sex as I am, and when he is, he prefers vanilla sex.

My own sexuality is complex and to really feel satisfied, I need to play with power and other kinks. I channel love and emotions through kinky sex. I wasn’t getting this outlet from Drake. (emphasis mine)

You seem to be under the impression that “real” relationships only fit into the boxes that you deem are appropriate — which is a pretty patriarchal stance, I have to say. This is the single most unfeminist thing I’ve read in a good long time. Why don’t you ask your friends about their relationships instead of judging them from afar through the sexual mores of the 1950s and 60s?