Women hate the way that men as a demographic treat women as a demographic in this culture - because they've all had tons and tons of first hand experience with that and it's pretty disgusting and isn't really getting that much better - but that's not the same as hating men - in part because not all men do those things, but also because men as people are not the same thing as masculine culture or Man Box norms and these are the real culprits - things that hurt men too.
A recent research study found that feminists don't hate men or even dislike them and that makes sense to me and is line with the feminists I know. But constantly asserting that feminists or women hate men is a long-standing deflection to distract from having to deal with the very real concerns they have about safety and about inequality in this culture.
"The researchers found that in nine countries, feminists displayed strong positive attitudes toward men. In fact, feminists held the same views of men as men did. In addition, feminists believed that men and women were more similar than non-feminists did."
"Linking advocates for gender equality with man-hating is a longstanding trend. The suffragettes, who fought for women's voting rights, were criticized for their supposed disdain for men. In the 1990s, Rush Limbaugh played a significant role in perpetuating the concept of feminists as man-haters by popularizing the term "feminazis" to describe women advocating for equal rights. A letter written by the television evangelist Pat Robertson in opposition to a proposed equal rights amendment in Iowa asserted that the feminist agenda included leaving your husbands, killing your children and becoming a lesbian."
Saying "Hey, stop doing that shit that hurts me" is not the same as saying "I hate you." A lot of women are fed up with their concerns being dismissed, at being yelled at for wanting to be treated with dignity and respect, and for making men uncomfortable by calling out problematic aspects of our culture. Most women are fucking exhausted with trying to get men to see how much they are hurting and to act like they even care. Sometimes that comes across as seriously angry and fed up, but again, that's what it is - not hate.
