Your lack of understanding about women, sexuality, and the world in general is disappointing, although not exactly surprising, I guess. “Stories” about female sexuality are so skewed and so far away from reality or the larger context but what seems right is really just propaganda.
Consistent with predictions, relatively high gender equality was associated with more casual sex, more sex partners per capita, younger ages for first sex, and greater tolerance/approval of premarital sex.
Among heterosexuals, the numbers skew slightly towards men having more partners, but overall really aren’t that significantly different, particularly when you take into account how much more women have to consider their safety, whether or not they will get pregnant, and other social considerations that men today don’t have to face, such as being considered a slut. The only place where there is a large difference is at the very highest end of the spectrum. Only 12.9% of women have had 15 or more partners vs. 28.3% of men ages 25–49, but in every other category, it’s pretty similar.
Additionally, recent research from all around the world indicates that women are the ones who get bored with monogamy long before men do. Women may like the closeness and comfort of monogamy, but it is well documented that it does tend to tank their libido.
“Moving In With Your Boyfriend Can Kill Your Sex Drive” was how Newsweek distilled a 2017 study of more than 11,500 British adults aged 16 to 74. It found that for “women only, lack of interest in sex was higher among those in a relationship of over one year in duration,” and that “women living with a partner were more likely to lack interest in sex than those in other relationship categories.”
The psychiatrist and sexual-health practitioner Elisabeth Gordon told me that in her clinical experience, as in the data, women disproportionately present with lower sexual desire than their male partners of a year or more, and in the longer term as well. “The complaint has historically been attributed to a lower baseline libido for women, but that explanation conveniently ignores that women regularly start relationships equally as excited for sex.” Women in long-term, committed heterosexual partnerships might think they’ve “gone off” sex — but it’s more that they’ve gone off the same sex with the same person over and over. ~The Bored Sex
So who is actually more biologically “programmed” to be promiscuous?As I noted above, in both animals and humans, sexual promiscuity can offer an evolutionary advantage — for both males and females. “A female who mates with several different males will have more genetically diverse offspring, boosting the chances that at least some of them will thrive.”
In fact, female primates couldn’t be further from reluctant breeders or seekers of “intimacy” with a single “best” mate, or dead set on doing it with “the alpha.” Indeed, Small suggests that it is difficult for us humans to wrap our minds around “just how little importance nonhuman female primates attach to knowing a male before they mate with him.” Au contraire, our primate sisters are sexual adventuresses, driven by the thrill of the unknown and unfamiliar.
Martin, Wednesday. Untrue (pp. 164–165). Little, Brown and Company. Kindle Edition.
Women have affairs as often as men do, 60% of monogamous relationships that open up do so at the request of the women, young women are more likely than their male peers to have gone to a sex party, BDSM dungeon, or participated in a threesome.
In contemporary partible paternity cultures like the Bari in South America, people believe that a baby is created by the sperm of several men, and women who are monogamous may be considered stingy and bad mothers. And among the Himba of Namibia, Brooke Scelza tells us that female infidelity benefits women and their offspring. Ditto for the Pimbwe of Tanzania. When we look at female sexual behavior cross-culturally and among non-human primates, we have to question a lot of our comfortable and comforting assumptions about who and how women are.
~Vice
I could go on and on and on but maybe you should do your own research rather than relying on me or on "everyone knows" cultural narratives that come out of Victorian mores and junk science.
